I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
