I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
