Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
The ass gains better be worth it
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