Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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