When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
