It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
