apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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