Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
What a dumb baby whore.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
