Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
