Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I still have a little drunk in my system
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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