its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Randomize
