"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
