absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
