ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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