R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
