Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
