Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
