Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
