so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Four minutes until I can fart!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
