is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
