everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
