i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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