yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
