Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
