so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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