after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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