There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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