just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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