hell yes lets make some ravioli
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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