At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
