Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
