She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
