dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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