I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Quick, to the slutcave!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Come share oat with me in your robe
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
