I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I don't think brook has ever known best
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
