The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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