Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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