You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
