After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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