Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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