I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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