I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
