I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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