I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
