This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
