I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
