i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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