I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
