There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
