hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
im holly from the hills drunk
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
