isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
